I've gotta do something

I'm about to go insane. Finals are done. Most of my roommates have left. I'm basically done packing & cleaning & all of my errands have been taken care of. And I leave for Salt Lake tomorrow. It's 3:14 on a Saturday afternoon. What on earth am I gonna do with myself for 24 hours? I'm going crazy with cabin fever! Maybe now would be the time to take up knitting...... nah. I'm not that desperate for activities just yet. But I need to do something or else I may end up blowing something up or smashing a glass container to pieces. Both will get me into trouble!




xoxo
Mega-Mega

=)

There's so much to do this week. I'm sure that I have some finals I should be worried about. I bet there's packing I need to be doing. I definitely need to be running errands, preparing for next semester, buying Christmas presents and be running around worried about one thing or another.



But right now. At this moment in time. I'm only thinking about how happy & ecstatic I feel. Right now, I'm only contemplating about how fulfilled and blessed I am. Right now, the only thoughts that are colliding in my head are thoughts of one thing and one thing only.

This weekend can't come fast enough. =)


xoxo
Mega-Mega

If these hoes don't step off

I will throw down. Not even kidding.



I'm just saying.




xoxo
Mega-Mega

Vent Session

So it all started last night. I first had nightmares about how I randomly wake up incredibly fat with hair in places I didn't think was possible.... after that I actually wake up with a bad stomach ache & the urge to throw up. Finally I went back to sleep and ended up having more nightmares, but this time about my grammar class...

After waking up, late for class, I try to start my car but as it turns out it was completely out of gas. On top of the fact that it was cold and wet and gross outside. So I walk to the class that I hate & back and realize I have nothing to eat. But after my nightmares last night I figured maybe that's just as well.

So after my kind & loving roommate takes me to the gas station to fill up I end up spilling gasoline ALL OVER ME. On top of the fact that my fingers were cold & raw from the freaking weather. Not to mention the fact that my back was killing me today from the part of the wall that fell on me Saturday night when we were taking down the set for the opera.....

Let's just say, I've had better days. But now I'm nice & cozy in my apartment, baking a birthday cake for a good friend of mine. So maybe today ended a little better than it began.

=)

xoxo
Mega-Mega

Sometimes

I wonder if I do enough. Lately I've been trying so hard to do the right thing, be there for people in my life like my friends and roommates and family. But recently I've felt a mixture of inadequacy as well as wondering if I'll ever be worth it to someone.

It's silly, I know. But I feel like I try so hard to be a good friend, so hard to be the kind of woman that a man'll find worthy and loyal and true, but it all ends up with me feeling like I'm never good enough.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just feeling really tired and overwhelmed with everything that's been going on in school and so forth. My dad always used to say that fatigue makes cowards of us all. I know he's right. But I dunno. I hope I'm proven wrong some day. I'm just so tired of this feeling of not being good enough. Of not being "worth the time."

It's late & I should've been in bed 3 hours ago. Hopefully this too shall pass & I'll feel better in the morning. G'night.


xoxo
Mega-Mega