The Writer

So my critical self may point out that her mouth & smile are a little weird but I am in love with this song! It's the epitome of everything I love about art and music all wrapped up into one. <3 It's called the Writer by Ellie Goulding & it's beautiful.

Enjoy lovelies!

Fearless

So, I've been thinking a lot about fear vs. faith. Recently, this week I've had two very good friends who have had fear and have turned to me for words of encouragement.

There is a reason why the title of this blog is Fearless. I've had many examples of fearlessness in my life. My sister is probably the best example I can think of. Her panic disorder causes her to be scared for no apparent reason, yet she is the most bold and brave woman I've ever known. It's a conundrum. A contradiction. But she has been an example to me that you can overcome fear even if you cannot control where that fear comes from.

These two dear girls that I love so much have reminded me about taking a leap of faith. One of them is fearful of the consequences of moving out to Utah because she's comfortable in Georgia. It's all she's ever really known, yet she yearns and desires for an adventure. For a new start.

The other is nervous of putting herself in a potentially compromising situation. She may risk losing her pride & getting hurt from a person she cares about deeply.

I don't think it's a coincidence that my own fears came to mind as I was pondering their situations. Recently, I've had fear of the future and fear of letting myself open up to someone, fear of possibly falling in love. Typically I try and cover up these fears by careful apathy and listlessness or by my false fearless bravado.

Yet I was thinking about these two remarkable women and myself, and trying to figure out how to help assuage their own fears, several quotes and song lyrics came to mind.

The first is a poem by Sarah Williams:
Though my soul may set in darkness,
it will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
to be fearful of the night.

The second is a song by Christina Perri called A Thousand Years:

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer...

And the last thing I thought of was a quote from Harry Potter:
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.

What I've learned is through it all, fear has never gotten any person anywhere. If anything, it is a paralyzer. A venom from a poisonous spider or snake. If we constantly live our lives fearing, we'll never be able to explore new people, discover new things and enjoy new opportunities. I have learned that I'd much rather love more, and fear less than hurt less and fear more. I don't care what the future brings, it doesn't matter. I'll meet it head on when it does come. I'm not going to be afraid of the question, "What if...?"

So whether I get my heart broken or move from job to job 1,000 more times, I'm counting on the 1,001 or 1,002nd time of getting something right.

xoxo
Mega-Mega

Inspiration

Inspiration is a funny thing. It's kind of like a faucet that doesn't quite have an on or off function. Sometimes inspiration flows forth and it's unstoppable. You can't gather up all of everything because it's simply too much to remember. Other times, it drips and drops randomly through out the day, but it's not enough to sustain you. I've recently been going through a creative drought so to speak. But recently I've come across several people who've inspired me and have given me motivation to do better & push the boundaries a little bit.

Copyrighted Alex Beadon Photography

Copyrighted Laura Ferreira Studios

Copyrighted Lara Jade Photography

Hopefully these artists don't mind me showcasing their work on my blog :) I've loved them so much for being my unofficial muses & I can only hope to aspire to even be half as amazing and talented as they are <3

Loves to all!

Mega-Shark

Finding a Needle in a Haystack

Do you ever feel like sometimes you're grasping at straws? Like you're trying to find a needle in a haystack?

Sometimes I feel as if I come so close to finding what it is that I'm looking for, whether it's a job or a future husband and yet when I take a second glance at it, whatever it is, when I start to look closely at it I realize it's only a shadow, a faint glimmer, a pale comparison of what it is I really want. What I really need.

This realization struck me as I got a text message from a boy I've had a crush on for almost a year. We sort of dated for a short season and then he proceeded to tell me he couldn't commit to me for some reason he couldn't tell. He's still a dear friend and I still care for him a great deal, but I've realized that every guy I've seriously or even cavalierly dated hasn't been good enough. I've been unsatisfied with each and every one of them. Why? Sure there have been people who have taught me things, shown me things, and have not treated me like dirt. But why is it I grow so weary of going on pointless dates with guys I can only describe as "skim milk?" No passion. No fire. No ambition. No flavor. No meat. Everything is "okay" or "good" or "alright." I'm sick of indifference. I'm sick of apathy. I'm sick of feeling nothing. Have a damn opinion about something for once in your life. Get pissed. Get frustrated. Swear. Get upset. Get goofy. Get sarcastic. Do something! Have an emotion that isn't "okay" for crying out loud.


There have been so many jobs, so many locations, so many guys that have been prevalent in my life. So many things I've experienced. So many things have come and gone. And yet when all is said & done, I feel so unsatisfied. I feel so hungry. So empty.

I feel as if I get so close to what it is that I want. But at the end of the day, nothing is ever really good enough. Nothing has ever really held me fully.

And I'm getting really tired of it. I just want to feel completely content. Completely fulfilled. I want to feel as if I've accomplished something in every facet of my life.

Why is it that I feel like nothing is good enough in my life? Why do I want more of something? I don't even know what I want more of & that's half the problem.

I don't know if I'm making sense. All I know is that something has got to change. I'm sick of feeling like stagnant water. I need someone or something to challenge my thinking, my creativity, my world. Someone who'll rock the boat and frustrate me to no end but keeps giving me the encouragement to go on, to try more, to succeed. I need a muse. Or a cabana boy. One of the two.


xoxo
Megs

Fear vs Love

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - “The Old Astronomer” by Sarah Williams

Harry Potter

So I recognize that I'm a total nerd, already having blogged about JK Rowling. Several of my guy friends would be making gagging noises about this same time simply because they hate Harry Potter but I don't hold it against them. To each their own as they say haha. But I did want to pay homage to this book series & what it's done to enhance my childhood. Here's some of my favorite pictures I've found & quotes to remind me that there is always something worth fighting for.

Make up/Hair/Outfit ideas

I've always loved new ideas for different ways to do my make up & hair. Since my hair's getting longer & my style is always changing, I figured I'd post my favs for safe keeping :)