That was a 180

Things have turned around substantially. And it only took a 3 hour car ride & a McDonalds chocolate shake. Let's just say, that things are back to the way I wanted them to be, and that I'm happy.

I know that there will be a general voice of concern with this turn-around, especially since everybody knows how easily attached I get, but I actually do feel good about the situation, and so does he. Yes, there is always a fear that I'll be in the same boat 3 months from now, but for now I have my answer. I feel very at peace with this. And, I know that I should be here, dating this man at this point in time.

Whether or not things will end is irrelevant at present. Because it's so much more than just seeing if it's the right fit. What it's about, and has been from the get go, is learning. Learning everyday, about myself, about a healthy relationship and about growing as a person.

I'm still going to get counseling. I'm very much aware of the things that I carry, of the weight that is on my shoulders and has been on my shoulders since I was 12 years old. But it's getting fixed. I'm definitely not who I was or where I was 6 months ago or even 3 months ago. I'm stronger. Better. Happier.

And these all have to do with the decisions that I've made to be happy. This man has helped quite a lot, but that's not all. I made the decision before anything happened to be happier. Now I have someone to share that happiness with.

Please, don't worry about me. I firmly believe this is the right path to take at this time.

xoxo
mega-mega


Here's another Phil Collins song to relate to this current situation

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up
Cuz you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow