Ramblings & Musings

Experiencing joys & heartaches is all a part of being human. Being alive is all about these two concepts, highs & lows, pleasure & pain, having your heart broken but also having your heart fly higher than you've ever felt.

And it seems that no matter how old you are, or in what status of this mortal coil you're in, these two sides of the coin are always flipping back and forth. One of my favorite lines in one of mine & my sister & mother's favorite movies that we watch is when the heroine says most astutely, "it's a truth universally acknowledged that whenever a part of your life starts going okay, another part of your life falls spectacularly to pieces."

And this happens frequently. You give someone your trust, your dreams, your hopes & your heart, and they break it somehow. It could be a family member or friend, a colleague or co-worker, or the most unpleasant and tragic circumstance; your spouse or significant other.

But one thing that I still have to keep remembering is that when things like this happen, when I feel abandoned, alone, neglected or broken, that there's at least one person looking out for me. One person who'll always be there.

I have a hard time forgiving myself for the things I've done. For the stupid mistakes I've made on my own & with other people. It takes its toll on me after a while, carrying the load of guilt & sorrow. But I know that the great thing about the Savior, and about Heavenly Father is that it doesn't matter where I'm at right now. The thing that they both care about is where I'll be down the road.

Life is hard. But life is harder when you don't know this simple truth. I'm so grateful for the Gospel that I've been raised with. It's been the anchor that has kept me steady for the past 22 years. It was the entity that I clung to when my father and grandmother died. It was the thing that I grasped when I was hurt & hurt again by people in my life that I trusted & who let me down in one way or another. And I know, even now, that no matter what curveballs are swung at me, not matter what happens in the future, or how my next 10 years in this mortal existence plays out, I still have something, when I feel like I have nothing.


When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

xoxo
Mega-Mega