"Something New in My Life"

I'm probably jumping the gun a bit on music/movies that are usually saved for Christmas, but this song I absolutely adore <3. I seriously can't stop listening to it & I think, aside from the fact that it's the incredible Julie Andrews & superb Placido Domingo singing it, the lyrics are so perfect for me right now.

I've finally made it. I'm finally here, at a place where I'm the most happy I've ever been and it feels so good to have finally arrived.

I should provide some backstory to this post. Several extremely hard trials & hardships have come up over the past 2 months or so. To spare you all of the disgusting, intimate details, I'll just leave it at this:

1.) In addition to moving from one apartment to another, I've had a copious amount of financial complications. My car was towed in my own parking lot for being in the visitor's parking space while my space was taken. When I went to contest it the d-bag told me that "it wasn't fair to the other visitors when you have a parking spot." Oh yeah, because first off people ONLY go to visit people at apartments for 30 mins or less AND there's going to be a lot of them coming at 12:00 on a school night. Yes, that makes perfect sense. Schmuck. On top of the fact that my deposit was twice as much as I thought it was going to be, and trying to get my stupid car fixed in order to get it registered in the miserable state of Utah, and other bills & financial obligations I had to take care of. I was very close to being homeless for 2 weeks there for a while. But with the help of a very dear, kind, compassionate friend I was able to take care of everything that needed to be taken care of.

2.) Another thing that was & is still going on under the surface was a very unhealthy relationship that was probably the most poisonous I've ever been in. I don't have any hard feelings towards the man, but needless to say I felt very violated after it ended. I feel horrible that I've become much more aloof and cold to many of the guys in my ward & other men who I know would never do anything to hurt me, but I guess that just goes to show that you don't get over something of that magnitude in a day.

However, in spite of all of this, I really feel that I am in a great place in my life right now. I have 2 wonderful roommates, the only real & genuine girls in my entire ward, I have very close, dear friends that are still in contact with me, both in Utah & Idaho & in other areas of the country, I have an amazing family that still loves me despite my many flaws, I have 2 internships that I'm loving every second of, a job at UVU I like, a photography job that pays well, Barnes & Noble I start in October, and another interview for an additional job that could mean more steady income. I also am making astonishing and astounding progress on my book that I really think after it's published will be a tremendous success.

Apart from money, there's really nothing in my life I can complain about right now. I'm confident in being alone & self-sufficient & independent, not requiring a man to make me happy; although there is someone who has made his way back into my life right now.

I feel like I'm finally at my best. As of this time, at this point I've come to, I feel as if I'm the best I can be right now.

I've been trying very hard to not swear, to serve others both people I know & strangers, to be more optimistic & have more faith, to take control of my check book, & to expand & enlarge my mind with constant reading & writing.

Every time I listen to this song, all I can think about is how happy I've become. Happiness really is a choice, a lifestyle, and not a circumstantial thing.

You're like a chance I had to take in my life
I found you and couldn't lose you
And all the difference that you make in my life
The feelings I never knew

I guess I must've saved an empty place in my heart
For you to come and fill this space in my heart
And long before I said, I loved you
I loved you

Whatever happens this is true in my life
When all the springs have come and gone
Whatever doors I may go through in my life
Whatever else that I may do in my life

You'll always be something new in my life
From now on
I know there always will be you in my life
From now on

I know there always will be you in  my life
From now on

xoxo
Megatron