Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Lessons I've learned the past 3 months

1.) Don't date your friends. I know you may think it's a good idea, and there's a .00001% chance that nothing bad will happen and that it will turn out just peachy. But trust me when I say, nothing is the same after the fall out that will inevitably happen. You or both of you will get hurt and there is no going back to way that things were.

2.) Don't believe a guy when he says that he'll "still be friends with you" after the break up. It never is. It never was. And it never will be. No matter how often he says "don't hesitate to call me" or "I'm always here for you" or "I'd be pissed if you were no longer in my life." He doesn't mean it. And if he does, he'll change his mind. And you'll be left without a boyfriend and without a best friend.

3.) Don't let a guy kiss you 3 days after you get dumped. You're vulnerable. You're torn. You're being put into an extremely dangerous, complicated and confusing situation that your heart doesn't need. It causes unnecessary stress and chances are, he's just moving in on you for a quickie and doesn't actually care about what a fragile state you're in at the moment. Because if he did, he would respect the need for you to heal before jumping into the torture chamber once more.

4.) Try not to dwell on painful things that have happened. You'll find yourself not eating, not sleeping and becoming very sullen, bitter and full of resentment towards the people that hurt you. Which doesn't help you and it's not like they know or care anyways.

5.) Fill your life with good things again. Remember those old dreams you tucked away into your drawer? Pull them out, shake off the dust that started accumulating on them and try again. The only way you're going to fail is by not even attempting to fail in the first place.

6.) Never settle. There will be jobs, careers, friends and boyfriends that walk in to your life frequently. Don't settle for a job you hate, don't strive for a career you don't love, don't settle for mediocre friends and don't put up with guys who don't treat you the same in every scenario. You're worth more, no matter what mistakes you've made. You are not you're mistakes.

7.) Even though it's hard to look in the mirror and even think this let alone say it, you are beautiful. And it's not because of anything anyone has ever said to you on the subject. The fact is, God does not do shotty craftsmanship. The only people capable of shotty craftsmanship, is people. There is nothing wrong with you. You have no physical defects. So stop worrying about what other people think of you. Remember, they are the ones who make garbage. Not God.

8.) Laugh again. It's been so long and it's all having to do with the fact that idiotic boys have screwed you over somehow. Laugh. It's okay. It will be okay. Pull out Tommy Boy, Hot Rod, National Lampoon & Airplane! again and just laugh. Be happy. I know it sucks now, but nothing cures unhappiness faster than slapstick humor. So laugh.

These were just a few lessons I've learned the past few months. In all honesty, I haven't learned them all, but I'm starting to get the hang of closure & being at peace with myself even after watching myself screw up as many times as I have. Beating myself up for things that I've done and the mistakes I've made has only caused me to have a low self-esteem and a lesser degree of self-worth. And those aren't exactly good things. The best thing, the most healthy thing I can do is just to log this away somewhere as a lesson and make sure that this doesn't happen again.