Tuesday, May 21, 2013


So, it's been a while since I've blogged about dating, or men in general, but recently I've thought a lot about the kind of guys I've dated in the past, and MANY of them have come with deal-breakers or red flags.

Many of my friends, guys in particular, have asked me what my "type" was & I've always said I didn't have one which translated to "I date anything male that moves." A gross misapprehension I assure you. However, I have been known to date a variety of douche bags, though I will say my taste in men has gotten better over time.

Since I'm happily single (and plan on being so at least for the next 2 years), and hormones & loneliness are not clouding my judgement, I've decided to make a list of things that are absolute DEAL BREAKERS for me. No exceptions. No leeway. No amendments or retractions.

That way, I can come back here and see the things that are essential for my happiness, and if said man does not fulfill all of them, he's on the next train back home. Now, when I say deal breakers, I'm not talking about superficial, idiotic deal breakers like Must have a six pack at all times or Looks exactly like Edward Cullen or Is making six figures by the time he graduates from college. These are things that mean a lot to me, and things that I absolutely CANNOT live without, and to be honest, things that are really not hard at all to meet. These standards aren't exactly Yale or Oxford worthy...

Here they are, a few simple, unadulterated, bare necessities of life:

-He HAS to love reading & be willing/excited to read to our kids. He doesn't need to be a voracious reader, like me, but he at least has to have a list of his favorite books, and books he wants to read in future. If I EVER hear anyone, male or female say they "hate reading"... I may end up throwing the 7th Harry Potter book straight to their gonads.
-He HAS to have dreams & ambitions. If  he doesn't care about anything, if he's indifferent about a career or a passion in life...no deal. (However, I have been enamored with many a man who wish to choose music or film or the arts as a viable career, knowing full well that it will take a while to make it a lucrative lifestyle, or will end up making no money at all. This is something I'm completely fine with and actually prefer in a lot of ways. He doesn't need to make a ton of money so long as he's EXCITED about what he's doing or planning on doing in future.)
-He HAS HAS HAS to love/desire/want to travel. If he's dead set against flying or if he wants to live & die in the same place he's grown up and always been, no dice. Sorry champ. I'm disgusted with complacency. & I've been bitten by the travel bug. There is no cure except to travel MORE.
-He CANNOT be obsessed with money or materialistic. I love a good Ferrari or Aston Martin same as the next bloke, but if it takes the place of family or husbandry duties, that's a BIG problem. One I will never put up with. ever.
-He HAS to have an incontrovertible sense of humor. If he doesn't make me laugh, it won't make it past the first date.
-He HAS to be tolerant of the following guilty pleasures:
the Muppets
Harry Potter
Jane Austen
Mystery Science Theater/Rifftrax 
He doesn't have to LOVE them all, he doesn't even have to LIKE them, just be able to stand them, and not bash on them. I don't think that's too much to ask, considering the fact that I despise football, but if the man likes football, I'm not gonna diss on it or try to talk him out of it. Door swings both ways bro.
-He HAS to like/be tolerant of animals--dogs specifically, considering the fact that my #1 dream is owning a German Shepherd and naming him Optimus Prime...
-He HAS to love music. He has to have favorite bands, musicians, songs etc. Soundtracks, melodies, lyrics are things that I always refer to and quote on a daily basis. Ya gots to keep up.
-He HAS to be an appreciator of movies. My love of movies borders on obsessive, so he has to be able to talk to me about them more than just "It was good." or "I dunno, I'd prolly own it" -_-
-He HAS to motivate me to exercise and eat healthy. I can't be the only one concerned with keeping us both healthy and lookin good.
-He HAS to be a man's man in many manly ways. I'm not sayin he needs to build me a cabin and kill & skin my food for me, but he has to have skills in one of the following areas such as:
-He HAS to respect/honor the U.S. military. Considering the fact that nearly 4 generations of the men in my family have served in the armed forces, including my pops, I'd say that's a big 10-4 good buddy.

And that's pretty much it. If I think of anything else, I'll certainly add it to the list.

Now that doesn't seem too unreasonable, does it?

ahhh Jim... the standards of love and romance will be forever altered because of you.


Thursday, May 9, 2013

I'm Not Gonna Write You An Essay

Cause you asked for it, cause you need one.

I understand that in this ever-changing, fast-paced technology-science-based world, many things have become obsolete and archaic. The written word in black & white on paper, is being replaced by e-books; phone calls and house calls are being replaced by text messaging; CDs and cassette tapes are being replaced by MP3s and iPods; maps are being replaced by GPS's and smart phones; dictionaries & common sense are being replaced by spellcheck etc. etc etc.

And, usually, these changes are necessary. There's no doubt that correspondence with other humans has become faster, more efficient, and less expensive. However, I believe there is a caveat to this "modern" electronic-forward world we're living in.

It's come to my attention that schools are considering eliminating handwriting/cursive classes from the elementary/middle school/high school curriculum. (If you're dubious, simply google 'teaching handwriting' and you'll come up with a bunch of articles discussing this matter.)

This not only infuriates me, considering the fact that American primary schools suck in every subject and that not 40 years ago children in the fourth grade were reading Silars Marner by George Eliot & now they're reading Diary of A Wimpy Kid, but this also frightens me about the future of my children's quality of education in addition to the education of the future leaders of this country & the world.

Now I understand how this can be seen as trivial and frivolous rather than worrisome, but if you don't feel as I do that this is a grave and alarming mistake, I'll simply point out a few reasons against removing the handwriting segments of education from the school systems.

1.) There's a book titled Try to Feel it My Way by Suzette Elgin. This book discusses the different learners in our cultures and how certain people communicate, specifically men and women who are touch dominant learners/communicators. Now of course there are visual learners, audio learners and kinesthetic learners.About 10% of the human population are of the latter, which may seem like a minimal amount, but I believe that it's much more than you would think. Myself, I believe I'm a combination learner, both visual and kinesthetic. It honestly depends on the situation. But I do remember the subjects and concepts that stuck with me the most were the things depicted in a movie, a picture, a photograph, etc. in addition to writing it out.

Let me give an example, when I am preparing to give a talk, a discussion, a lecture, or even trying to come up with an appropriate way to break up with a guy, I have to write it out! Whatever it is! Not only do I have to write it down, I have to SEE it written down. Both my hands and my eyes are soaking that information up, making it twice as easy to recall it to remembrance when the time comes.

Now, what does this have to do with handwriting/cursive classes? Think about it. Yes, there is something to be said for typing on a computer or texting on an iPhone, but writing includes the kinesthetic touch dominant learners. As well as the visual learners. Kinesthetic learners are able to actually physically write out everything, while visual learners see it written. Sorry, how is handwriting antiquated? If that's not a strong enough argument, feel free to see the next one.

2.) If students don't know how to write in cursive, they'll certainly not know how to read it as well. For example: If a student is reading the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence, or even their mother's diary after she's passed away, how on earth are they going to be able to read and understand what it is they're writing? Now, I know this is kind of hitting this topic below the belt, but I'm serious! I understand some documents, like the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, is already typed out but there are ALWAYS going to be records, scripts, speeches, diaries and more that are going to be handwritten as well as written in cursive.

3.) There are still things in this day and age that require good handwriting, and even cursive. People still write checks, people still write Thank You cards, people still write in Birthday cards, Baby shower cards, Wedding cards etc, people still write in Wedding guest books, people still sign their name, people still write notes, people still write their names on name tags, people still write in multiple games, doctors still write diagnoses, etc etc etc etc. I could go on!

So if that's the case, it would be disastrous for children to no longer learn the art of handwriting and cursive. If only to just encapsulate their learning and retain their creativity. Sir Francis Bacon once said:

#AUTHORHOUSE WRITING INSPIRATION  Today we celebrate Sir Francis Bacon’s birthday with some of his philosophizing

If we want our children and the people of this country to be full, ready and exact, we need to keep the subjects of writing and cursive in our schools.

And I'm gonna leave it at that.