Tuesday, May 21, 2013


So, it's been a while since I've blogged about dating, or men in general, but recently I've thought a lot about the kind of guys I've dated in the past, and MANY of them have come with deal-breakers or red flags.

Many of my friends, guys in particular, have asked me what my "type" was & I've always said I didn't have one which translated to "I date anything male that moves." A gross misapprehension I assure you. However, I have been known to date a variety of douche bags, though I will say my taste in men has gotten better over time.

Since I'm happily single (and plan on being so at least for the next 2 years), and hormones & loneliness are not clouding my judgement, I've decided to make a list of things that are absolute DEAL BREAKERS for me. No exceptions. No leeway. No amendments or retractions.

That way, I can come back here and see the things that are essential for my happiness, and if said man does not fulfill all of them, he's on the next train back home. Now, when I say deal breakers, I'm not talking about superficial, idiotic deal breakers like Must have a six pack at all times or Looks exactly like Edward Cullen or Is making six figures by the time he graduates from college. These are things that mean a lot to me, and things that I absolutely CANNOT live without, and to be honest, things that are really not hard at all to meet. These standards aren't exactly Yale or Oxford worthy...

Here they are, a few simple, unadulterated, bare necessities of life:

-He HAS to love reading & be willing/excited to read to our kids. He doesn't need to be a voracious reader, like me, but he at least has to have a list of his favorite books, and books he wants to read in future. If I EVER hear anyone, male or female say they "hate reading"... I may end up throwing the 7th Harry Potter book straight to their gonads.
-He HAS to have dreams & ambitions. If  he doesn't care about anything, if he's indifferent about a career or a passion in life...no deal. (However, I have been enamored with many a man who wish to choose music or film or the arts as a viable career, knowing full well that it will take a while to make it a lucrative lifestyle, or will end up making no money at all. This is something I'm completely fine with and actually prefer in a lot of ways. He doesn't need to make a ton of money so long as he's EXCITED about what he's doing or planning on doing in future.)
-He HAS HAS HAS to love/desire/want to travel. If he's dead set against flying or if he wants to live & die in the same place he's grown up and always been, no dice. Sorry champ. I'm disgusted with complacency. & I've been bitten by the travel bug. There is no cure except to travel MORE.
-He CANNOT be obsessed with money or materialistic. I love a good Ferrari or Aston Martin same as the next bloke, but if it takes the place of family or husbandry duties, that's a BIG problem. One I will never put up with. ever.
-He HAS to have an incontrovertible sense of humor. If he doesn't make me laugh, it won't make it past the first date.
-He HAS to be tolerant of the following guilty pleasures:
the Muppets
Harry Potter
Jane Austen
Mystery Science Theater/Rifftrax 
He doesn't have to LOVE them all, he doesn't even have to LIKE them, just be able to stand them, and not bash on them. I don't think that's too much to ask, considering the fact that I despise football, but if the man likes football, I'm not gonna diss on it or try to talk him out of it. Door swings both ways bro.
-He HAS to like/be tolerant of animals--dogs specifically, considering the fact that my #1 dream is owning a German Shepherd and naming him Optimus Prime...
-He HAS to love music. He has to have favorite bands, musicians, songs etc. Soundtracks, melodies, lyrics are things that I always refer to and quote on a daily basis. Ya gots to keep up.
-He HAS to be an appreciator of movies. My love of movies borders on obsessive, so he has to be able to talk to me about them more than just "It was good." or "I dunno, I'd prolly own it" -_-
-He HAS to motivate me to exercise and eat healthy. I can't be the only one concerned with keeping us both healthy and lookin good.
-He HAS to be a man's man in many manly ways. I'm not sayin he needs to build me a cabin and kill & skin my food for me, but he has to have skills in one of the following areas such as:
-He HAS to respect/honor the U.S. military. Considering the fact that nearly 4 generations of the men in my family have served in the armed forces, including my pops, I'd say that's a big 10-4 good buddy.

And that's pretty much it. If I think of anything else, I'll certainly add it to the list.

Now that doesn't seem too unreasonable, does it?

ahhh Jim... the standards of love and romance will be forever altered because of you.


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