Monday, February 13, 2012

What I want to say vs. What I really say

So, I've had a few ideas for what I want to write about next, and I think I may have hit a gold mine. I work with some.... special managers. One of them is absolutely amazing and could probably walk on water if she stepped into a body of water. The other three, two of them in particular, are the most selfish, money-grubbing, manipulative, dishonest, uneducated, narrow-minded bunch of greasy car selling bastards I've ever met in my entire life.

To kind of put this into a little perspective, at work we have a huge flat screen TV that is always set on ESPN or ESPN2 for the males that enter into our store. If they get tired of looking at diamonds and jewelry they inevitably make their way over to this TV that's always on. Now, it should come as no surprise to anyone that we have LOTS and lots of time where there's no one in the store at all. On a random Thursday afternoon when it's raining or snowing or everyone is out doing other things, there is literally nothing to do.

So, one day, after I've cleaned the glass displays for the fourth time, I decided that my time would be better spent reading my book, The Agony & the Ecstasy. (I would just like to mention, that the cover of this book consists of Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam & that my close-minded, ITALIAN general manager told me it was pornography..... I have nothing more to add to that other than, that comment's idiocy speaks for itself)

Anyways, I'm standing in my area, perfectly aware of everything going on but happily engaged in my book when I get chewed out for reading "on the floor."

Douche-bag Boss:"Megan, what if a customer walked in and saw you reading?"
Me:"Well _____, they'd probably think, 'I wonder what book it is she's reading.'"
Douche-bag Boss:"I can't have you reading on the floor, Megan."
Me:"Why ____? There's NOBODY here. And there's NOTHING to do."
Douche-bag Boss:"I know Megan but I just can't have you do that. What if the district manager walked in and saw you reading?"
Me:"I dunno _____, he probably wouldn't say a word to me. Every time I do something he doesn't like he never talks to me about it anyways. He just mentions it to you and you end up telling me anyways."

I would like to point out that when the majority of the managers are DOING NOTHING, where is it that they end up for the most part? That's right. THE DAMN TV THAT'S BLARING ESPN.

Now, I have nothing against TV or even SportsCenter. What I do have a problem with is the hypocrisy and bureaucracy that happens every single damn day at Jared, the Galleria of Tom Foolery. What the hell is the difference between silently reading a book in my repair corner as opposed to standing in front of a TV or texting on my phone?

I'll give you two hints.

A penis. And a bonus.

That's all.

Which gave me the idea of starting a little writing experiment. What you want to say to your boss versus what you actually end up saying to him. I'll post it at some point in the next few weeks as soon as I have a spare minute.

Get ready for an entertaining new look at the corporate ladder :)

Loves to all


1 comment:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....deep breath.....BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMIGOSH, dearie, this is a CLASSIC--one of your best! I love you!!!