For the most part I'm happy with my life. I have two great jobs, one at UVU and one at Barnes & Noble. I love both of them equally. I have bosses that are fabulous, roommates that are considerate, a bishopric I really like, two working hands that type out a story every night on Microsoft Word, a set of eyes and ears that allow me to watch a variety of movies that are a necessity for my life, a brain that functions most of the time, and food on the table.
But every now and then, I go through bouts where I can't stand Utah.
Particularly, certain aspects of Utah, and my life which resides within the state limits.
On nights like this, I wanna get the hell out of here. And I'm not exaggerating.
1. I hate the fact that I'm stuck in a college town, with stupid & asinine rules about parking, curfew etc. I'm an adult. Have been for about 4 years. Don't tell me what to do.
2. I hate that I feel stuck in this God forsaken town for far too long. I can't stand the fact that I haven't been to Europe in over 2 years, and that I haven't traveled anywhere new AT ALL. I want a fresh change of scenery. Some people are content in planting roots in one place and residing there till they die. I am NOT one of those people. I need change. I don't like routine. Ergo, I wanna get OUT of here.
3. & this is probably the number on the list in which I feel most emphatically about. I am sick of the dumb-asses that classify themselves as "guys" here. And yes, I realize this is a rather strong sentiment, but I've experienced nearly 5 years of dating these retards. I think I'm entitled to call them dumb-asses. Because they are. They're commitment-phobic, unambitious, femme, indecisive, lazy, obnoxious, don't-know-what-they-want losers. I'm sick of getting texts at 10:00 at night for booty calls. I'm 23 f***ing years old. Does it sound like I want to be treated like a 900 number? I'm too old for that shit. So DON'T do it. It may have been acceptable when I was 19 but I'm not. I'm sick of getting messages that have the feeling like I'm going to be asked out and then never do. I'm sick of being treated like a "go-to" girl for a "good time" because all of the other chicks are currently unavailable or turned you down. I am not a back up plan. I am not Plan B. I'm Plan A or nothing at all. STOP being dumb-asses. I guarantee you if you don't pull your HEAD out of your ASS you will be single until the Armageddon is upon us. Which may be sooner than you think.
I guess real men lie in fiction. James Bond. Han Solo. Konstantin Dmitrievich Levin. Captain America. Flynn Ryder. Mr. Darcy. George Bailey. Because they sure as hell don't lie in Utah or Idaho or Georgia or the other places I've lived.
And you know what, if you have a problem with this, maybe that's a sign that you need to do a little bit of self-reflection. Don't try to find a scapegoat to blame or tell me I'm being unfair. If I were being unfair I would stoop to say that Edward Cullen is more of a man than you. That would really be taking it rather far I'd think.
Sooner or later I'm sure I'll find a guy who isn't a complete waste of space. Who isn't vapor. But right now it's not looking so promising.