Sunday, February 17, 2013

Le sigh

Sometimes I worry how skewed my priorities can get. I've become so fixated on my writing, I wonder if I have more faith in my books and my manuscript than with the Gospel or my friends & family. After attending a writing conference this weekend, I feel so overwhelmed with everything I have to do to get my novel finished and out there.

Don't get me wrong, it was a good experience. I had forgotten just how awesome it is to be around true nerds who dress up in black cloaks and Dr. Who t-shirts and make references to Lord of the Rings. I loved it probably more than I should have. But the fact was, I started becoming obsessed when it came to throwing myself into this passion of mine, and perfecting every little thing there. Until I realized, it wasn't a race. Even though my plan was to get my novel completely finished and revised by April, it's not a terrible disaster if I don't. And it's no reason to put off more important things, or make the people I love take a backseat till then.

I've decided to dedicate more of my Sundays to keeping this day holier than it usually is. Making sure the movies I watch, the music I listen to, and the activities I do are uplifting and turn my thoughts more towards Christ. I've even started picking up my violin and playing again & after some time of re-tuning it.

There's really no point to this rant other than this:

I recognize that I've been stagnant in a lot of things recently, in my true dedication to the Gospel, in my writing, in my relationships with the people around me etc. I need to be more Christ-like, I need to look for more service opportunities, and I need to be a true friend. Not just a friend for Sundays. Even though I've had mixed feelings about the ward I'm in, all in all, if I don't make friends simply because I haven't tried, then that's my own fault. No one else's. And if I end up finding out that the majority of the people at church are jerks, well I won't really know if they are or not until I give them a chance. And if they are, then at least I can say I've done all I can. But if they're not, then maybe I'll end up fortifying friendships that will sustain me through difficult times, and do the same for them.

And thus ends my narration. Thanks for dropping in!


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